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Tanya Dalton Intentional Advantage Podcast Everything-you-know-about-Aging-is-a-lie-unlock-your-ageless-potential
May 28, 2024   |   Episode #:

300: Unlock Your Ageless Potential

In This Episode:

What if the best years of your life are actually ahead of you? I believe everything we’ve been told about getting older is wrong. In today’s podcast, I’m celebrating my 50th birthday by turning the notion of aging on its head–getting older isn’t something to dread,it’s actually an opportunity for growth and new experiences if you’re willing to challenge the fearmongering around time and aging. We’ll take a deep dive into the misconceptions and mistaken narratives surrounding aging with actionable strategies and advice. Regardless of your age, this episode empowers you to embrace each phase of life intentionally and joyously.

Show Transcript:

Watch the Podcast

The Big Idea

Aging brings new opportunities; stay vibrant and curious.

Questions I Answer

  • How can I shift my mindset about aging?
  • What can I do to feel happier as I get older?
  • How can I create a fulfilling life after 50?
  • What are some ways to embrace aging?
  • How can I feel better about getting older?

Topics Covered

  • Counterclockwise Study by Ellen Langer
  • Aging and Wisdom
  • Reinventing yourself at 50
  • Anti-Aging Industry
  • Empty Nest Transition
  • Counterclockwise Study Ellen Langer
  • Historical Context on Aging
  • Post-Menopausal Happiness
  • Anti-Bucket List

Key Moments in the Show

[01:32] Why Do We Fear Aging?
[07:49] The Third Stage of Life
[09:51] Rethinking Your Life Timeline
[10:22] How Aging Has Changed Through History
[12:27] Does Aging Create New Opportunities?
[15:18] Fear and Time Go Together
[15:55] Why is Retirement Age 65?
[22:08] Can Your Mindset Influence How You Age?
[29:01] Your Anti-Bucket List

Resources and Links

Show Transcript

Tanya Dalton: Hello, hello everyone and welcome to the Intentional Advantage podcast. I’m your host, Tanya Dalton. This is episode wait for it 300. We have made it to this giant milestone, which I’m very proud of because I just saw a stat the other day that most podcasts don’t get past 10. And we have blown past that, my friends, you and me together.
I have really appreciated having you alongside of me as we’ve been on this wild ride. And not only is this our 300th episode. It also happens to be the day after my 50th birthday. So it is quite a celebration that we’re going to have today. And I wanted to talk about something. I’ve been thinking about a lot.
I mean, I’m turning 50, right? So I’ve been thinking about aging and what it means to get older and how I feel about it. And I have to be honest, I’m pretty damn excited about being 50. And I’ve had a lot of people ask me like, Hey, Why are you so excited about turning 50? What’s so great about turning 50?
Or aren’t you worried about getting older? That’s the question I get a lot. Like, oh, 50. They kind of cringe when I say it. And I laugh and I say, oh no, I’m so excited about turning 50. So you know what? I thought today on our 300th episode, we’re going to talk about getting older and loving it. So let’s get started with today’s show. ​

[01:32] Why Do We Fear Aging?
John Dalton: Well, before we start today, I wanted to jump in and say Happy 50th birthday to Tanya. Big birthday, big episode too, right? Episode 300. So I want to be the first to say happy birthday on the show.
Tanya Dalton: Well, thank you. Well, considering you’re the only one on the show, you also get to be the first. So congratulations. It is so exciting. I can’t believe it’s our 300th episode. And yesterday, the day this goes live, yesterday was my 50th birthday. So a lot to celebrate. I remember when I was mapping out the season and realizing that the 300th episode was coming up and it was going to follow the day after my 50th birthday.
I knew I wanted to talk about something that we really haven’t talked a lot about. Maybe we’ve danced around a little bit. But we really haven’t fully dived into this idea of aging. I mean, 50 is a pretty big deal. And I think for a lot of people, they dread this birthday. Right? Like, it’s like, Oh, 50. I feel like every major milestone, people kind of get this, I don’t know, there’s all this stigma that’s attached to it.
And I have to say, I have been so excited about turning 50. this to me has been the most exciting year leading up to my 50th. I feel like it’s this initiation into, into something brand new, into this second half of my life. And to be honest with you, I think the way that we look at aging is all wrong.
You know, back in 1900, the average life expectancy was 47, 47, 50
John Dalton: Wait, what?
Tanya Dalton: 47. It’s crazy, right? And I think that’s the thing is 50 was considered this crazy milestone to get to. And now instead of going, wow, this is an amazing milestone. Now we’re like, Oh gosh, turning 50. So I think the question is, Why do we keep moving the finish line of what’s amazing?
Because to me, if 47 was a life expectancy in 1900, these are bonus years that I’m living. Like, these are just, these are extra. And I want to spend it kind of like I spend bonus money. You know, with a lot of fun, having a great time, and not taking life too, too seriously. I feel like I’ve had a lot of my life, like, it’s been, you know, focusing in on being so serious.
This next stage for me is really about What do I want to do next? And I think that’s so exciting.
John Dalton: Yeah, and you know, part of me is wondering if you did this episode really for my benefit, Because I just turned 51 a few months ago. So I think you’re just trying to make me feel better about it. But in all honesty, I feel, better at 50 than I did at 40. I think I’m healthier.
I’ve looked better. I feel better. and I’m just generally more excited about life. And I think, 50 doesn’t have to be the end. You know, this is not old age or, looking down the barrel of a gun. Like some people make it. kind of sound like, it really can be great.
You know, it’s a whole new beginning in a lot of ways.
Tanya Dalton: Well, I don’t think it’s surprising that we look at aging as this terrible thing. I mean, literally, think about any old fable, fairy tale, who is the bad guy in those stories? The old woman. Every single time, it’s the old lady, right? Snow White, what happens to her? Evil stepmom doesn’t like that she’s younger, more beautiful,
Sleeping Beauty, angry old woman, right? Hansel and Gretel, angry old woman. Truly, I think that if we shifted the way that we looked at aging, and we really saw people who are older as the wisdom keepers, as the people who have a lot of experience and all of this information they could share with us that would totally shift things, but I think that’s part of it is this this archetype of the old person.
And I think part of that too is. losing your abilities. People worry about your mind, losing your mind. You’re not as sharp. Your mental capacities aren’t as high. You’re getting hurt more often. You’re a little more frail. And the truth is I did a lot of research into this. Alzheimer’s and dementia rates are actually dropping, not increasing.
And when we think about losing our independence, there’s really a small number of people that end up in nursing homes, only 2. 2%. for over the age of 85, I think it goes up to maybe 8%. And this is the thing is we have this whole idea of what nursing homes look like and what it is when truthfully a lot of people go to retirement homes, which is very different.
I know, John, that a long time ago, We moved your grandmother to a retirement community. My grandmother now still lives in a retirement community. She’s 98. which that was a whole realization when I realized, first of all, that my grandma is 98, which means when she was 48, Two years before where I am now, she already had had four grandchildren.
I mean, that puts things in perspective, right?
John Dalton: Yeah,
Tanya Dalton: But this is the thing is, these retirement communities are vibrant. They’re full of life. I feel like every time we go to visit, when we would go to visit Betsy when she was alive, or when we go to visit my grandmother, they’re doing amazing things. It’s like going to camp.
They have a great time. There’s a great social life. There’s so much to do. So there’s not a lot to fear, But here’s the thing, the other place where we get a lot of messaging about getting old is terrible, is from the anti aging industry.
There is this whole focus on getting rid of wrinkles, making yourself look younger. We’re seeing teenagers. getting Botox, 20 year olds getting filler. And it’s, that’s so upsetting because truly aging is part of the process. The opposite of aging, quite frankly, is not being alive. It’s dying. So aging doesn’t have to be this terrible, awful, no good thing.
[07:49] The Third Stage of Life
Tanya Dalton: It’s actually just a part of And you know, back in ancient times, menopause was considered the third stage. That was the third phase of life. You had the maiden, motherhood, and then the crone. And the word crone wasn’t the way we talk about it now. Where we think about a crone and we think of an old haggard lady, right?
A witch. A crone used to be this word of honor, how we spoke about these women who knew how to, how to do all kinds of things with herbs and how they knew, you know, what plants to go use. And they, they knew how to do all of these things, give, help other women give birth. And I think we’ve lost that, you know, this idea of embracing the crone.
Now it’s like, Oh, she’s got to go out to pasture. She’s old. And to be honest with you, I don’t feel like those three stages even encompass how most women are. I think we have more than three stages, first of all. And I think that middle stage of motherhood is really, really limiting, quite frankly. A lot of women don’t have children, which is a fantastic choice if that’s what you want to do.
But a lot of people have an identity outside of motherhood. Now, the thing is for me, when I think about three phases, I’m like, Oh my gosh, I’ve lived way more lives than that. Just in this lifetime alone. I think about who I was when I was younger, when I was a kid, I moved, How many times? 11 times before I graduated high school.
So that was an interesting childhood. Then you have the whole stepping into adulthood where our kids are now. K is 17. Jack is 21 and he’s now in his third week of going through Europe by himself. There’s a whole stage where you’re. Figuring stuff out, and then you get to the stage where maybe you’re a little more rooted, you’re figuring things out, you’re understanding who you are.
And I think about like, you know, I had a whole stage where I owned one company, then I sold that company, and that all of these things have happened to me.
[09:51] Rethinking Your Life Timeline
Tanya Dalton: And I think we feel like a timeline is so linear. It’s this straight line that we can’t divert from. It’s like there’s a beginning and there’s an end.
And as we approach our older years, gosh I hate to even use that term older years, as we approach our more advanced years where we’ve gathered together a lot of wisdom, we feel like, oh no, I’m getting to the end of that timeline. When the truth is, that line is not straight at all. It’s not one singular track.
[10:22] How Aging Has Changed Through History
John Dalton: I think so. And you know, We live in a different time, but we look at ages in different ways. even from when we were kids, I can still remember when my mom turned 40 and they threw an over the hill party with black balloons and all this stuff. And now that just seems ridiculous.
I don’t think anybody even considers 40 over the hill anymore. I know I certainly don’t. And then of course I’m 51, so I’m, I’m not going to admit that I’m over the hill because I don’t think that’s the truth. it’s not really the beginning of the end. It’s. It’s just a new beginning and it’s all in your mindset and how you look at it and it reminds me i’ve seen a couple memes about ages in the 80s versus ages now and one of them that really stuck out to me was If you guys are Seinfeld fans They had a picture of george costanza and one of Timothee Chamalet At the same age and they look like they’re 30 years apart and I think We have a different mindset about what aging is.
And because of that, it’s different. I mean, we don’t look as old. We don’t feel as old. I feel great at 51. Do I sometimes feel a little stiffer when I get up in the morning?
Sure. But. I get up and move my body and everything feels much better. So it’s just all in how you think about it and then how you, what do you do? You know, what do you do with your mind and your body to make yourself feel good? Yeah,
Tanya Dalton: Sex and the City, And the golden girls, because the golden girls are the same age as the women in sex in the city. That’s how different it was. And I think about the golden girls. I’m like, I thought they were like 80 or 90 years old.
They were in their fifties and sixties. And it was kind of like, they are all at the end of the line. So I do think a lot of the attitudes have changed, but there is still a lot of stigma. And I do think it’s because our brain gets stuck in this channel. It sees one track of this one linear line.
And the truth is there’s so many options. There’s so many iterations of you. I mean, quite frankly, if you are the same person today as you were 20 years ago, that’s a problem. Hopefully we’re all evolving and changing and growing.
[12:27] Does Aging Create New Opportunities?
Tanya Dalton: We’ve talked about your backpack on the show before, where we go through life and we’re gathering together our accomplishments and our achievements and our traumas and our failures.
And we’re gaining a lot of wisdom that we have on our back. And I think that’s one of the best things about getting older is we have so much to pull from. In fact, there was a study between Northwestern University and MIT. They found that 50 year old entrepreneurs are twice as likely to have a successful startup as a 30 year old.
And I think that is 100% Because of all that wisdom you have in your backpack. You have a lot in there. I know for me, that’s how we scaled to seven figures in less than 18 months with my second company. I had so much wisdom in that backpack. And you do too. One of the things I’m hearing from a lot of my podcast listeners And the sub stack subscribers is, you know, I’m, I’m about to enter my empty nesting years, or I’ve just gotten here.
And now I’m thinking, what do I want to do now? It’s this opportunity to take that backpack off, take a good look at what you want, what you desire, and maybe start something new. That doesn’t mean you have to go into entrepreneurship or run a business. It’s just Where do I want my career to go? Maybe you’re not interested anymore in climbing the ladder so aggressively.
Maybe now is a time for, I just want to coast a little bit. I have a little bit more money because I’m not, you know, changing diapers and paying for formula and doing all those things when you have kids at home. So things have shifted. And to me, that is a great opportunity. I think that’s a big thing to take hold of as we get older.
John Dalton: I think even at 50 if you wanted to reinvent yourself and have a second career really think about the time that you have. If you want to retire at 65, which I think most people don’t do anymore That’s still 15 years. I mean think about what you were able to accomplish between 25 and 40 You have that same amount of time now You could completely start over at something else become very successful And still retire at the age of 65 You it’s not like you’re running out of time, and I think we see all these ads, especially about like retirement savings and stuff, and it just, it makes you feel like you’re behind all the time, and that you don’t have enough time, and you really have a lot of time, the average age is close to 80 at this point, the life expectancy, so you have a ton of time to do something, Also, do things that you want to do, like spend time with your kids or grandkids if those are around the corner.
there’s still an opportunity to do whatever you want. And I think that’s what we need to start looking at as opposed to, I need to start, you know, putting my affairs in order so that,people know where to bury me and stuff like that, because it, we’re a long ways away from thinking about that kind of stuff.
[15:18] Fear and Time Go Together
John Dalton: there’s a lot of fear mongering, especially when it comes to time. I’m seeing this, having Kay finishing up her junior year, the number of emails, I’m about to lose it with the college board. I’m not kidding. between the college board and ACT and all the fear mongering they do with parents about, Oh, your kid’s going to miss out.
Make sure they get their ACT done before June. I’m seriously about to lose it because there is a lot of fear mongering and there’s all this ticking of the clock. Oh no, your kid’s going to be left behind. And we experienced that as we get older as well. Oh gosh, your retirement savings account and all of those things.
So a lot of it is the marketing.
[15:55] Why is Retirement Age 65?
John Dalton: A lot of it is this belief, which actually, you mentioned 65 being the retirement age. I thought this was interesting as I did my research. The reason why the retirement age is 65 is because after World War II, there were so many soldiers coming back home that they decided, the government decided to set the age at 65 because they needed people to retire.
So there were jobs. For these guys coming home from war, that’s the only reason why it’s age 65. Before that, it was older. And in fact, a lot of the information I was finding was really interesting because prior to World War II, all the information about aging was written by people who were that age.
Information about 70 year olds was written by 70 year olds. Information about 80 year olds written by 80 year olds. After World War II, it started being written by 20 year olds and 30 year olds who have a very different lens. They’re almost projecting their own fears, there’s that ticking clock again, right, onto what it’s going to look like.
And I think that’s part of what causes all the stress. You know, we talked about worrying in our last episode, and it’s the stress of getting to the moment that causes most of the anxiety. That’s what it is for aging as well. We worry that we’re not going to have the cognitive, abilities that we’re not going to physically be able to do the things we, we wanted to do, or that we used to do when in fact, this was interesting.
A 2016 study found that regardless of any changes, physical or mental cognitive abilities, mental health actually improves. In an Australian study, women in their 60s and 70s said that they had improved mood, less tension, increased happiness after menopause. A Denmark study found that women were 62 percent happier and more satisfied than ever after the age of 60.
A British study found that women were happier after menopause than they ever were in their life before menopause. They were feeling independent, they had better relationships. So all of this fear mongering that we see through the marketing and let’s be honest, people looking to profit off of your fears of getting older even actually true.
If we would go and actually speak to the people who are these ages, you would find, my gosh, they’re so happy. I think about John, you and I, as we’re embarking into this new phase, as I mentioned earlier, Kay’s in her junior year. I think about John, you and I, as we’re embarking into this new phase, as I mentioned earlier, Kay’s in her junior year.
Girl loves to work. She loves to work. So she goes to school and then she’ll work like this week. She’s going to school and she’s working 32 and a half hours. I’m like, okay, can you stop? So we’re home alone a lot. We like to say that we’re practicing empty nesting. And it’s fantastic. I mean, dinners for two out on the porch, you know, like looking at the mountain from our, from our deck, we’re going, we’re going for walks, we’re hanging out.
It’s, it’s pretty amazing. And for me, while I love the stage that Kay is in, and I’m soaking all of that up, I’m also gearing up and getting really excited for what this next step looks like for you and I, I think that’s part of why I’m so excited about turning 50. I see all the possibilities. I think that there’s something about those milestone years, the zeros, right?
But what I started to notice, I recently did this timeline activity as part of this thing I was doing with my therapist. I went through and I wrote out my timeline and I started to notice that my nine years. 19, 29, 39, 49s. Those were huge years for me. They were years of transition and unfolding and gearing me up for this next decade to come.
You know, when I was 19, that was a really dark time for me. I had a lot of trauma that I lived through. I had two friends that were murdered in separate incidents. I was attacked. I had several things that happened. And that shifted who I was. In my twenties, really understanding who I am and all these things.
When I was 29, that was the year I became a mom. Talk about a huge shift. That totally changed everything. 39? 39 was the year we closed up my first business and we decided I was going to launch something brand new. Something called Inkwell Press. Which then of course brought me, well, this podcast, the books, all of the things, right?
And then 49 this past year, taking that six months sabbatical away from doing the podcast, really producing, right? Creating content and producing and doing all those things. I went really deep into who I am. And I think that’s why I’m excited about 50. It’s like, Oh, what’s next? Right? What’s coming around the corner?
Because every time I get to a new decade, there’s something amazing around the corner. It’s kind of like with your kids. Every time they get to a new phase, you’re like, Oh, I like this phase. Oh, nope. I like this phase. Oh, I like this one. And occasionally we go, I don’t like that one at all. We’ve had a couple of phases the kids that we don’t exactly love, but it’s the same thing.
And what if we look at our aging the same way we look at our kids? If we looked at them and said, this is just part of the progress, the progress, not necessarily the process. This is the progression as we become the wisdom keepers. But I do think part of it is not getting so attached. To the numbers. how old you are, it really doesn’t mean anything.
Yeah, I agree.
because 50 really can be great. And yes, we’re about to be empty nesters and it’s a whole new phase of our life. And it’s not like we’re shutting down.
This is like, this is something new. Like where are we going to live? I don’t know. We can live wherever we want, there’s all these possibilities. And I think it’s all just mindset and how you Tanya and I’ve chosen to look at it as. This is an exciting new adventure for us.
it’s a new phase and we’re excited about it.
[22:08] Can Your Mindset Influence How You Age?
Tanya Dalton: it does come down to how we think and I think that sounds really woo woo But one of my very favorite studies is the counterclockwise study, which I think we’ve talked about on the podcast before I love the counterclockwise study. It was by Ellen Langer In 1979, and what she did was she took a group of men who were in their eighties and were living in a nursing home and they told them, first of all, you need to think a little younger, but it’s not just think a little younger, it’s act a little younger as well.
Right. So they had this whole setup where they brought these men to this other building and the entire building was set up as if it was 1959. So 20 years earlier, they had TV shows from 1959.
They had, life magazine, from 1959. They encouraged them to have conversations as if it was 1959. And these men lived this way for not, it wasn’t a very long period. I think it was like a week or two. I can’t remember, but it was a very short period of acting. Behaving, feeling, thinking as if it was 20 years ago.
And what I think is interesting is these men felt tremendously better at the end of that experiment. But it wasn’t just how they felt, they actually showed physical improvements. They had their physical strength increased, their manual dexterity, their gait, their posture, their perception, their memory, their taste sensitivity.
They’re hearing it. Even their vision improved just by behaving and acting and thinking as if they were 20 years younger. 63 percent of them had better intelligence scores at the end of the experiment. this experiment because it proves that it truly is mind over matter. It really is how you choose to look at aging, how you choose to look at how old you are.
these men on the first day as they’re hobbling into the building. They’re using canes and walkers and they’re, they’re walking hunched over on the last day of the study.
These same exact men played touch football on the front lawn. I was like, that’s amazing. So it is, how do you choose to look at your age? How do you choose to look at aging? We can look at it as it’s this terrible, awful, no good thing that we’re all going to experience. Or, obviously there’s the alternative, which is not living. But we’re all going to be aging, so we can either choose to dread it, and worry about it, and stress about it, which, let’s be honest, just adds wrinkles. That’s one of the big things. That adds wrinkles. Or, we can choose to see ourselves as younger. I honestly think of myself a lot as being 26. I don’t know why 26.
26 is, I think, the age I was when I married you, John, and it was a great time in our lives. People ask me how old I am. I never remember. I remember this year because it’s 50, but most times no idea. But I very intentionally don’t think about how old I am. I don’t use the term middle age. I don’t like it when people refer to me and my group of friends as middle aged women, because I feel like middle aged has this really negative connotation, this really negative, you know, mindset of like, Oh, you’re getting old.
You’re in the middle. And so I just, I just flick that off of me. It just does not, does not stick because I don’t want to think of myself as middle aged. I want to think of myself as. I wanna think of myself as vibrant and excited and, and happy. this is the thing, your words. Matter they really do I talked about this in on purpose in my second book That your words matter that when we talk the words we choose They define you and they confine you you have to be careful.
You’re not choosing words that confine you So maybe middle age isn’t a word that kind of throws up the red flag for you, but it is for me So I choose not to use that to define myself.
John Dalton: Yeah, I agree with you. going back to this, the counterclockwise study, that was so eye opening for me to think about how just acting like you’re 20 years younger can make a difference
And I think if, we act the way that we did when you and I met and We’re going to feel young and vibrant, and we’re going to want to be social and go out and do things.
And I think that’s kind of the point. your language does matter, your actions matter, and so does your environment. I think it’s all three of those things that come together with your attitude and make you feel like, okay, well, so what? I’m 51. That doesn’t mean anything other than that’s how long I’ve been on the planet.
I can do a lot of things now that I didn’t think I’d be able to do it. 51. I’m 30 pounds lighter and everything else, so it, I’m in a better place than I was 10 years ago and I, I’m hoping at 60 that I’m gonna feel exactly the same way.
Tanya Dalton: I think it is Choosing to feel that way a lot of times, even on days where you wake up and you feel like, gosh, my body does not feel like it wants to cooperate. But truthfully, your body not cooperating is not part of aging. That’s sometimes just part of, of living. I was, What 32 when I had my back surgery.
I was the youngest person I swear in the back surgery ward And I lived in daily pain on about an 8 or a 9 on a 10 point scale in my 30s Doctors were like, oh you’re gonna just gonna live in pain your entire life I don’t live in pain anymore because I do a lot of things for my body. I do a lot of natural medicine I do a lot of Pilates and movement, but I could have very easily At the age of 32 said, Oh my gosh, I am so old.
I can’t do anything and just stopped and quite frankly, the doctors were like, oh, it’s not a matter of time. If you’re going to have major back surgery, it’s just when and I think when the doctors told me that that’s when I was like, uh, I have a say in this. I’m not having major back and I’m not, I really, I mean, literally I’ve everything physiologically wrong with my back.
You can have wrong extra bones, missing bones, curvature of the spine, missing discs, things out of place, all kinds of weird things. But I choose to do things to strengthen my back. So it is about making those choices. Sometimes it’s word choices. A lot of times it’s activity choices as well. One of the things that I stumbled upon as I was doing my research is that some people are starting to say, instead of menopause, menostart.
I think that word pause there is like, hmm, we’re not really pausing our life. This is the start of something brand new. Little things like that. You can call it menopause or menostart. It doesn’t matter what would feel good to you.
[29:01] Your Antibucket List
Tanya Dalton: And I think that’s what it comes down to. You know, if you want to age better, less stress and worry, Which means stop worrying about how old you are.
Stop worrying about, Oh no, am I not going to be able to do these things in the future? Eating the things that really fulfill you and feel good in your body, right? Moving your body on a regular basis. I know that John, you and I play pickleball. And I, I mean, the last 4 games, I have one didn’t need to mention that probably on the podcast, but
John Dalton: No. No. You did to mention that.
Tanya Dalton: but there’s all kinds of things. So think about what’s meaningful for you. For me, it’s using a lot of natural medicines. I’ve been doing essential oils since. You know, how old? 1990s. I started using natural medicines and doing things like that. All of those things have made a difference for me. So what is important to you?
You don’t have to do what I do. Do what’s going to feel good to you. Make your choices. And what is it you want to do? A lot of times we talk about the bucket list, but also what do you not want to do? What’s your anti bucket list? I feel like you were running short on time here on the show. There we are with our fear mongering with time again, right?
John Dalton: Mm-Hmm.
Tanya Dalton: But I want to talk about the anti bucket list over on the sub stack because I think it’s a really interesting question. What do you not want to do? What is it that you never want to do again or you’re not interested in doing? I feel like declaring that is just as important as declaring what you do want.
Right. For me, for example, not going to be on Meta products. I don’t agree with Meta. I don’t like it. So I’m not on Instagram. I’m not on Facebook. I don’t like TikTok. You guys know I’m not on social media. Right. Another anti bucket item for me. I don’t buy clothes that I don’t absolutely love. I’m not willing to settle.
And go, Oh, it looks okay. I’m like, if I don’t love it, I don’t buy it. So I think that could be a really interesting topic. I think we’ll dive into that on the sub stack. If you’re not getting my sub stack, Tanya Dalton. com slash connect. I’d love to see you over there. John, do you have anything on your anti bucket list?
I’m curious.
John Dalton: I think for me, as somebody who has struggled with self-confidence and some other things, like throughout my life. I think one of the things that I’m going to stop doing, or that I have stopped doing, I think I’ll go ahead and own it, is worrying about impressing people, right? Like, just be myself, and if people like me, great.
If they don’t, I don’t care, right? There’s plenty of other people in the world. I don’t have to go out of my way or try to be someone different, because really it’s exhausting, to try to impress people. So I’m just not going to do that anymore. I’m just going to be myself and feel good about it.
Tanya Dalton: I a hundred percent support that. I like that. We’re going to talk more about the anti bucket list over on the sub stack. so join me over there and. As I’ve mentioned on the last couple of shows, it is my birthday month. My birthday was yesterday. If you would like to give me a present, share the podcast, share the sub stack, or sign up as a premium access member, that would be fantastic.
That’s a great way to celebrate this 300th episode and my 50th birthday. So tanyadalton. com slash connect. I would love to see you over there.
Let’s finish out this 300th episode by really thinking about. What is it we want? What is it you desire? What is it that really sounds good to you? Because the truth is, we have a lot more time on the clock than we realize.
I think a lot of us look at it as a glass half empty, instead of the glass half full. We feel like time is winding down, when the truth is, time is unfurling for you. There is plenty of time for you to explore and try something new. That’s certainly a theme that we’re seeing a lot of as people get to the age where I am, their 50s, their 60s, their 40s, where it’s like, what do I want now?
That’s the question I want to leave you with today. What is it you want in your one wild and precious life? What would be amazing to you? I know I’m ready to embrace the crone. I’m ready to step into this next phase of wisdom I would love to carry on this conversation over there on my sub stack, but yeah, 50 is going to be fantastic, and I hope you’ll be here alongside of me as we move into my 50s. So
I hope that today’s episode has shifted your mindset a little bit about aging.Because truly, when you embrace the phase of life that you’re in and you see it for how amazing it is and the gifts that it brings, all that you have in your backpack, that’s when you know you’ve got the Intentional Advantage.

**This transcript is created by AI, so please excuse any typos, misspellings and grammar mistakes.


Tanya Dalton is a female productivity expert, keynote speaker and corporate trainer. She works with companies and organizations to help workers achieve their goals, be more productive and work as a team.

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