253: The Courage to Reset with Dave Hollis | Tanya Dalton
Dave Hollis quote on his podcast interview on The Intentional Advantage
January 11, 2022   |   Episode #:

253: The Courage to Reset with Dave Hollis

In This Episode:

How do you possibly live On Purpose when you don’t have a vision for what you want? Or what do you do when your dream is taken away? Often the realities of daily circumstances keep us from truly stepping into the life we want and it may seem difficult to separate the circumstances of your present with the possibilities of your future.

On today’s episode we’re talking about how you see the micro-miracles in your day, how you can cast a realistic vision for your future that feels vastly different from your daily life and how we step into the extraordinary life.

Show Transcript:

The Big Idea

There are micro-miracles in our everydays.

Questions I Answer

  • How do you handle fear when doing something new?
  • What do you do when you lose everything?
  • How do you set goals if you have no idea what the future looks like?
  • What do you do when plans fall apart?
  • What if no one believes in my dream?

Key Moments in the Show

[04:50] Why Dave is grateful that things had to die

[08:07] Why our prayers aren’t always answered the way we expect (and why that’s good)

[10:17] What to do when you find your whole identity is changing

[13:10] Why we don’t want to create a “perfect plan”

[17:47] Separating the circumstances of your present with the possibilities of your future

[24:40] The micromiracles that showed up after 20 minutes of active stillness

[29:55] How to come to terms if people don’t believe in your vision

[37:41] “A ship in harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for”

Resources and Links

Show Transcript

Extraordinary is a choice. Take that in, soak it up because of the hustle grind, repeat mantra that society has been touting for decades. It had it all wrong. I’m Tanya Dalton. I’m a seven figure entrepreneur best-selling author, keynote speaker, mom, and rule-breaker I’m here to help you live to your fullest potential. That’s what this podcast is all about. The Intentional advantage is doing life on our own terms.

Define the status quo and seeing ourselves outside of the tie-dye definitions. Society’s name for us. It’s intentionally choosing to step back away from the chaotic rush of your every day and choosing, choosing to see that it’s your world. And it’s filled with opportunities. Let’s challenge the bedrock beliefs that so many have wholeheartedly trusted because we were told they were truths. Let’s have a healthy disregard for the impossible.

Let’s choose to be extraordinary. Hello? Hello, and welcome to the Intentional advantage podcast. I’m your host, Tanya Dalton. This is episode 253. We are in to 2022 of my friends. How’s it feeling now? The truth is 81% of people drop their new year’s resolutions. And there’s a staggering, I think it’s 23% that drop off in the first week alone.

How you feeling? Are you one of the 23% if you are it’s okay. It’s not too late to get back on that horse, pick it back up. And here’s the truth. All the things we’ve been talking about here on the show with living on purpose and this whole season of on-purpose and the book, of course, on purpose, how we talk about goal setting and how it needs to be aligned.

If you’re already finding that that’s not happening for you. It’s okay. Stop and do a quick reset. It’s okay. That you maybe set some goal was yours a week or two ago with the new year’s parties and all of those things, you can change it. Goals should be written in pencil. They are able to be erased. They’re able to be shifted and changed.

And if you’re already thinking at not quite working out for me, it’s okay. Let’s go ahead and have a reset. And I think that’s one of the things that I really felt was important to talk about during the season of on-purpose we’ve been talking about our goals. We’ve been talking about how our choices, I think it’s time to talk about a reset and what that looks like.

I think there’s a lot of fear of what it looks like to everyone else. If you have to make a reset, if you have to shift, you have to change sometimes it’s because we want to make the changes and sometimes we’re fighting it kicking and screaming and that’s okay. A reset is really an opportunity to see that there’s new avenues for you to explore new new choices,

to be made choices that maybe you didn’t even know were there. And that’s why I wanted to have a conversation today about a reset and what that can look like. And I thought it would be really helpful to have someone who’s had a very public reset happened just recently. That’s Dave Hollis, Dave Hollis reached out to me and asked me if he could talk about his reset on the Intentional advantage.

And I thought, you know, this is a great opportunity for someone who has had a lot of twists and turns, the life has been like a roller coaster for him in the past year, year and a half with a divorce shifting out of being a business partner with his wife, Rachel Hollis, and all of those things. I felt like this would be a really powerful,

really inspiring episode to hear from Dave, how that looks, how he’s done it. And if you’re not familiar with Dave Hollis, he is a New York times best selling author of get out of your own way. And he is the host of the rise together podcast. He’s a health and fitness and online coach who inspires other people to take control of their lives and to create a future of fulfillment and purpose.

Now, Dave has a really incredible history. He’s been a CEO of a media startup. He’s the former president of sales and distribution for the Walt Disney company. He’s been a talent manager, he’s done a lot of different things. So he’s made a lot of little resets and a lot of changes in his life, but what’s really interesting is this giant reset that he’s been taking,

you know, it has been happening in his life over the past couple of years, as he’s very publicly split with his wife and of course their company, they built together. So I wanted to have Dave come and share with you what that looks like and how we can all have the courage to reset, because it does take courage to step into something new,

whether we’re talking about your new year’s resolutions or a whole brand new life, you never even anticipated. So let’s talk to Dave, Dave, I’m so excited to have you on the show. You know, I think it’s, I think it’s fairly safe to say you’ve had a tumultuous couple of years, the past few years. And in fact, in your newest book,

you say that at the end of my days, when I’m asked about the most important, most impactful years of my life, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt this hardest year ever will be at the top of my list. The man that I will become in the next 40 years was born in 2020, the older version of Dave we’ll look back and thank the things that had to die to create this best year ever.

Okay. I have to thank the things that had to die. Let’s talk about that. Let’s just dive right into it. Let’s dive right in. Yeah, it’s what’s wild is at the end of 2019. I’m a, this very bold declaration at a holiday party at our company’s a gathering of humans that 2020 was going to be the best year of my life that I had saved it for my 45th year on the planet.

And what I didn’t appreciate in the midst of the declaration was that I would not get a say in the conditions through which my best year would show up. And as much as I’m not alone, I’m sure. And not wanting to have to relive the experiences of 2020, because 2020 for many of us was a dumpster fire on wheels. I know that I have become who I’ve become and will be who I’ll be known as the legacy I’ll leave on this planet in so many ways,

as you just said, was born, not in spite of, but because of the things that I went through and in a beautiful kind of way, as much as again, I don’t like the idea of hard things happening in my life. I wish that I could just believe that my quota for hard things was full. And yet I know that I’m likely to experience plenty of hard things in the years that come ahead.

But because of the way that I now have a set of evidence of how much good can come from hard, how much transformation was available to me, because of, again, not in spite of, but because of having to persevere through those things that when the next hard thing comes, I might just be able to appreciate it and have some gratitude for it as it’s happening,

even as I don’t necessarily enjoy what it is that I’m going through. Yeah. I think that’s so true. I think so often we, we had this vision, we asked for things, right. We, as we pray for the things that we want, but we also have this like very specific vision of what that’s going to look like. And it never looks hard.

It never looks like the reality, but a lot of times it is. It’s the hard things. It’s the tough things. I mean, 2020 was hard. You were, you were shifting your identity with your marriage and you know, that that ending and what’s your work look like your career. So many aspects of you were changing and evolving and in a way it’s your best year ever in that it was your biggest year of change,

but hoof, that’s a tough way to go. Yeah. Well, it’s interesting you say pray because there was, for me, something really interesting in my relationship in faith, in that one, I don’t know that as a person of faith, you can appreciate how strong your faith is. If it’s never been tested. And I lived a life of privilege where I just didn’t go through as many hard things is I’m going to argue most have.

And it wasn’t until I was really tested that I was able to appreciate the strength of that faith that had always existed. But understanding that was something that also had me in being forced to my knees, drawing closer to God so that I could feel God in a, in a much deeper and more acute kind of way. But also I was angry. I was mad that these things were happening and what was wild in the midst of that dialogue with God on a rock and nature,

as I’m sometimes screaming at the heavens was this recognition that, Hey, you prayed for this. And I’m like, no, no, no, no, I didn’t pray for it. No, no, no, no. You prayed that. You might have a journey of becoming that. You might love yourself in a different and deeper way that you might be connected to your kids in a different way,

that you might be connected to purpose in a different way. You’ve been delivered. What you prayed for. You just made the mistake of believing that you got to dictate the way that the delivery of that prayer might come and that’s not the way it works. And so again, so much of where I find myself today is on a foundation of gratitude for just having been delivered.

Something that I for my adult life have been dreaming about and wishing for and praying for. And sometimes as it turns out the conditions that are necessary to deliver what you want, aren’t necessarily things that you’re going to like really, like, I didn’t enjoy them, but I am the beneficiary of having become stronger. Having my faith, bolstered my relationships made stronger in part because of when I lost so much of what had previously mattered.

I got to read inventory what really mattered now? Yes. And that’s really incredibly powerful. It really is. Our identity sometimes has to die and we cleaned so tightly to who we are and even how other people receive us, right. Our roles within our relationships with other people as well, that identity that even society expects. How did you, how did you navigate that as you were shifting your identity,

because that can really create some, an anchoring, right? You can feel really that lack of control. Yeah. At the beginning, one of the first casualties for me in divorce, where I would have, I just didn’t predict I couldn’t conceive of the possibility of not being married. I was in business with my wife at the time and thought I might work there for the rest of my life.

That the identity that I most ascribed to was husband to her or someone who worked in this business, both of those pillars of identity being gone. I was left with something of a blank piece of paper where I want to say, Hey, it’s equal parts, exhilarating and terrifying to have this opportunity to now write out what your future looks like when it no longer looks like you thought it might.

But the reality is at the beginning, it’s wildly more terrifying than it is exhilarating. And that first cash books eat for me truly at the beginning of this transition was my imagination. I just did not possess a capacity to cast a vision for who I thought I might be five years from now, forget five years, one year from now, because so much of what I had become comfortable with and thought would exist forever.

Now, being gone, made it hard for me to think about what might be. And so one of the first things I had to do was really develop a relationship with my fear. Like I made a list of these 46 things that I had fear for. And that list of things was in so many ways, complicit in compromising my ability to cast a vision for what next might look like now that it was different.

And in so many ways, I don’t believe that fear as people have maybe called it before is, you know, false evidence appearing real. There, there were yeah, 75% of the things that I had fear for that were ridiculous. And I was able to, and bring them into the light, dismiss them, but there was still a good 25,

30% of the things that I had fear for that were very real. And the antidote for me to fear was a plan. I now had an opportunity in creating a plan many times that required cultivating courage to face that fear that allowed me to just take small steps forward in a way that I might not yet have a perfect vision for where I was heading,

but momentum and motion action was just an important part of my beginning. One of the things that I had to do at the very, very earliest stages of being so disoriented and now unmoored out in this new sea was ask a very simple question, which was, Hey, Dave, what do you need in this season to get 90 days in the future,

closer to who you’d hope to be. Long-term because 90 days for me was just a long enough window that I can actually see who I’d hoped to be, but not so far that that compromised imagination couldn’t cast a vision. And I asked the question against the backdrop of the five dimensions that had identified as the most important in my health journey. So, Hey,

Dave, what do you need in your mental, emotional, relational, spiritual, and physical health. And in answering that question with contextually specific things, to what I was experiencing in real time, I could come up with a list of two or three things for each of those five dimensions that would become my daily routine. That would become a set of habits.

I needed to adapt, became the circle of people I needed to surround myself with. That became the way my calendar would start showing up with what I was committing myself to the way boundaries were necessary to keep things that weren’t aligned with those things I needed away from my life. And so I ended up doing that exercise on an every 30 day basis, because as you’re working through chaos or has you’re working in,

in my case, in this instance through grief, but conditions that I was experiencing in June were wildly different than July. We’re wildly different than August. And the things I needed then were of different because I was working through and progressing a non-linear kind of progression, but like I was still progressing through things. So there were some constants, right? Like in my mental health,

I needed professional freaking help, right? Like my commitment to sitting with my therapist, guy named David, buying a boat for him, one session at a time, I like the best investment I could make was sitting with a professional who it helped me understand what I was thinking and why I was feeling the things I was feeling. But some of those things were things that were specific and relevant in June,

but now non-applicable and could be jettisoned in July or August because I was evolving and growing in the way that had my needs shifting and changing as I was, I think that’s so important to acknowledge because we do, we shift and we changed. And you know, this is one of the things we w I talk about in, in my book is this idea of it’s okay.

That our goals change it’s okay. That, that map changes that we want to lay out the plan, but it’s not going to be a perfect plan that we have to allow and checking in, I think is so important. So I love that you were doing that on a regular basis, because there really is when we check in that we realize, oh,

I’m in a different spot than I expected. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes the best thing. Yeah. If you think about it, even just like from a third grade smart goals, kind of way, two of the most important for me. And I think for anyone, especially if you’re going through something that’s new, different outside of your comfort zone,

relevance and attainability, right? Like those two, like, is it specifically relevant? And I think sometimes we make the mistake of setting a goal that has relevance in real time as we set it, but that relevance changing over time makes it harder for us to stay committed to it or excited about it as we need to be, to continue pushing forward.

But then also attainability, like being realistic. What was possible for me in my life while I was also in this season of mourning, where I was carving out time to cry on a rock, like there was an, in a way that was part of the catharsis and the healing that was necessary to ultimately come out the other side, there were certain things I was,

I had a capacity for was capable of actually attaining in June that were different as time went by. And the healing continued. Yeah. I think, I think too, one of the other things that holds people back is they’re not setting goals because they can’t see their future or they’re struggling to see their future. So they’re just setting their goals for, I don’t know,

this person over here is doing this, so I should do this or that person over there is doing amazing things. We’re setting goals for everyone else. And I think this issue with not being able to see our future, that’s certainly something we talk about in my book, but it’s really hard to get fired up about the work that you’re doing, because it’s hard to get excited if you can’t see the future.

And one of the things that you say in your book is that it may be that you are having trouble separating the circumstances of your presence with the possibilities of your future. So how do we separate the two? Because our present cause sometimes like grab onto our ankles and just keep us like tied down to the ground. How do we un-tether ourselves from our current reality and really dream about the future.

Yeah. And one of them, one of the mistakes I think we make as humans is believing in something of control, which is an illusion. We have no control. I hate to break it to anyone. Spoiler alert, Sorry, everybody. But the idea that the things that are currently happening are the things that will continue to happen. That when you find yourself experiencing something,

that’s likely to be, you give an inordinate amount of weight to the probability that that will also be the thing that happens next, which if you’re in the midst of abundance and crushing it, fantastic cast the forward looking vision of how that’s going to continue. But if you’re in the midst of struggle and by the way, if you are struggling as a listener in real time,

congratulations, you and I are the same. Our struggle is a reflection of our humanity, not of an indictment in any way of us being broken or not whole, we’re just human and like struggle, I think is just a part of this human experience and a part of how we grow and continue to become. But there’s a quote that I not only used in this book,

but the last book from Les brown, it says hope in the future is power in the present, right? The idea that if you can cast a hopeful vision of something that exists in front of you, it galvanizes, it catalyzes the power you have in the present to make that future a possibility. But if your current circumstances are compromising your ability to cast a hopeful future,

it comes at the expense of any of the power that you would have in not being able to see something good in what comes next. And so we have to do that work. We have to be able to believe as part of the journey for me and working through something that I did not see coming. Didn’t like the fact that it was happening was the idea of faith.

And then beyond our religious faith, like faith for me was believing the things that I needed would present themselves as I needed them along the way. I just believed it. Whether it’s like delusional optimism or just faith, I believed it now, what’s the thing that’s interesting in that belief is that I then went into each day looking for the evidence that might support my hypothesis.

And as it turns out as humans, we find the things we go looking for. And so I did find in a pastor that sent me the same 11 word text every single day for the first two months. What small piece of sadness can I hold for you today? Oh, one of the greatest things that anyone can send to anyone going through anything that I found a neighbor who had moved in down the road as I was on a run,

one day, I ran past them with my head down and began headphones on and something inside me was like, Nope, you’ve got to turn around and introduce yourself to these strangers in a golf cart. And they became part therapist, part barbecue, buddy and friend. And just on and on and on, there were these little, I call them micro miracles.

They were just these little miracles that would show up in part because I was on the hunt to find them. And when you go looking for them, those are the things that present themselves. I like that term micro miracles, because I think, I think our days really have a lot of micro miracles, but we’re so busy headphones on head down, running,

chasing busy, doing the things that we miss, the micro miracles. We miss getting to see them. So I love what you said there about you ran past your neighbor and then your intuition was like, Hey, Dave, take off the headphones, turn back around. You’re like, I’m sure you were like, oh no, don’t want to, don’t want to.

And yet you made that choice to listen to your intuition. So I want to talk about that in just a moment, because you did something really unusual in this fast paced world of ours. And I want to talk about what you did in just a moment on today’s show. You’re listening to Dave, talk a lot about the different twists and turns his life has made.

And I’m wondering if right now you’re feeling a little bit inspired to maybe choose, to make a couple of bins and twists and curves in your own life. You know, as, as it happens, sometimes life happens to you. And other times we make those choices. I know for me, I’ve made some really big audacious choices. Audacious is my word of the year.

And I love helping other women do that in their own lives. That’s one of my very favorite things to do is to meet with women, to strategize, to dive deep into what it is they want to accomplish, what it is they want to do in their life or in their business. And we do that through meeting together for a VIP session. VIP sessions are one of my favorite ways to really affect change and to help women take the reins in their business and take the reins in their lives and really reclaim ownership over who they are and what they want in their lives.

Because in these sessions, you come and meet with me. We meet in the room together here in Asheville, North Carolina, we hug we lunch. We strategize, we plan, we, we break things down. We put them back together and we have a great time doing it. But you walk away with an action plan. You walk away feeling empowered.

You walk away feeling like you’ve reclaimed ownership over what it is you want to have happen in your life. It is incredibly powerful, which is one of the reasons why I love doing them so much because I get to really dive deep with you and your business and your life or whatever it is you’re needing help with. So whether it’s writing a book, which of course I know how to do very well.

I’ve written a book or two myself it’s bestseller lists, or whether it’s making shifts in your business, which I also know how to do very well. Having scaled a seven figure company, or whether it’s in your personal life or really understanding how you want to create that harmony in your own life, come and join me for a VIP session. We do the one-on-one.

So you get access to me all day long. We dive deep into you and what you want to have happen in your own life. So go to Tanya dalton.com/vip for details. I would love to do a session with you. It is so much fun. And I promise you’re going to walk away, feeling empowered and excited about what you get to do in your life and in your business.

So go to Tanya dalton.com/vip. Okay. So Dave, before the break, you talked about the fact that you, you listened to that little voice inside of you, your intuition, that little tap on your shoulder. And as I said, I feel like we’re just so busy. A lot of times that we, we miss it, we miss listening to the intuition or we think we don’t have intuition,

but it’s there. And you did something that’s really unusual. You actively chose stillness, not like, Hey, I’m going to do like a 15 minute meditation, or I’m going to stay in a really nice hotel for a couple of nights. Like Dave, you like went for it, right. You, well, why don’t you go ahead and tell them because I can tell them,

but I’d rather you tell us what you did to really dive into stillness. Yeah, well, the thing is, I am so grateful for the exercise at the end of 2019, I’ve made this declaration. I am going to have the best year of my life in 2020, but it’s ordered to engineer that best year. I had to decompress completely unplugged from all of the noise that was otherwise part of my regularly scheduled programming.

I went and sat on a rock outside of Tucson, Arizona for three days. I actually to an assistant on my team and have them change the passwords on my social media, so that because I just know myself too well, so that as I have that on my phone, I would not be tempted to jump back into one thing. That’s always a part of my life.

And I grabbed a three ring binder and just started writing open-ended journaling of what was going on in my life and my thoughts and this beautiful thing happened in stillness just after the 20 minute mark, every single time in that, after all of my conscious thoughts, the, to do list, the things that I was worried about were on the piece of paper and about 20 minutes in my unconscious thoughts,

things I did not know I was carrying or holding, started showing up on the page. And one of the things that I really dived into in this attempt to engineer this best year ever was where Dave, did you experience your worst? Because if I could identify any variable that was consistently present in my moments of stock or my seasons of feeling like I was getting in my own way,

then maybe I could preempt those things from happening or that variable from showing up in the year I was trying to engineer in the year ahead. And the thing that was just every single time present was this idea of dissonance in congruence. The times when I had suggested I wanted to be a certain person was representing that this is who I am, but was showing up in a way that was disconnected from it.

And in that space between who I know I can be who God’s made me to be the kind of gifts I’ve been given and the way that I was showing up that space, that dissonance was where my shame, my lack of motivation, the way that I don’t love myself when I’m by myself lives. And so for me, the answer to how do you Dave engineered this best year ever is an attempt to close that gap,

to create integrity between the way that I have made promises to myself and how I keep those promises to myself, the way that I, I suggest in the book and to anyone who will listen, you Tanya, me, Dave, anyone who’s listening. Each of us have been created with very specific and deliberate intention, right? We’ve gone through experiences that are unique to each of us.

We have wiring and how we think and feel, and love. That is unique to us. We are a limited edition one-on-one and in that comes a responsibility. I will argue a mandate that we do what we can every day to honor the intention of our creator. And for me, I know when I have felt best about myself, when I’m by myself,

it’s when I’ve created integrity with my creator’s intention and the actions of my day. I love that. It really is all about that alignment, that intentionality I like too, because first of all, you’re talking about tapping into your intuition because you get all the to-do lists, you get all that base level stuff off of your head, and then you start diving deep and words on the page to start appearing to you.

That’s really tapping into your intuition. And one of the things that people will say is, you know, oh, I could never be still for that long, or I can’t do that. And so you play to your weakness. You were like, listen, I already know myself. I’m going to, I don’t know. It’d be like opening up my Instagram accounts.

You’re like, take that out of my hands, hand it over to someone else. I think that’s really beautiful because it’s handing over and recognizing and realizing this is a weakness. So I really want to tap into who I am and who I want to be in the book. You say that stillness is such a valuable resource for getting clarity on who you are and where you are.

It’s also though really important for maintaining sanity. Once you have committed to ditching the Harbor. What I love about that quote in the book is this, that choosing to live confidently on your own two feet, being committed to something bigger than today, that means there’s going to be, there’s gonna be some chaos and there’s going to be some pushback, right?

And it is creating that stillness that you talk about this idea that not everybody needs to buy in on you, you say you aren’t free ice cream about that. You’re not free. Yeah. One of the thing that’s so interesting. One of the most powerful things on this planet is the voice that intuition that lives inside of your knowing and what happens from a very,

very young age is that external sources, our programming, if you will slowly methodically chips away at you, being able to believe in that voice or trust that voice so that if you want to be a good girl or a real man, if you want to be lovable or you want to be someone who’s seen as hustling or achieving, then you’ll do these things and not listen to that voice.

Don’t listen to that voice, listen to these voices of the world, listen to these voices of gender norms, listen to these voices of your family of origin, whatever it might be. And so one of the most courageous things that we can do, and this idea of being built through courage is to cultivate the courage, to trust ourselves, to listen to that,

knowing to listen to that voice, whether it’s voice of God or your intuition that just lives inside of you and already often knows the things you need the most, if only you would give it the benefit of the doubt, if you would listen to it and focus on it. And so part of why stillness ends up being so important is that the world literally runs on noise,

right? It just runs on noise. And so whether it’s the way that the news business has a business model, that is fear. If they can make you just afraid enough to tune back in tomorrow, they will sell the advertising that makes their business run. Social media runs on a business model of comparison. The way that our curated hyper curated highlight real versions of how great everything is always leaving us to worry or wonder if we’re enough or good because our life doesn’t look like their life,

our struggle isn’t being represented in their story. The way that marketing it’s like anyone who is trying to sell you a product is doing so with the suggestion that you are not yet whole good enough, but once you buy their thing, then, but only then will you be whole or good and all of that noise, right? All of that noise works in a way that compromises or chips away at you,

trusting and believing in that voice inside of you. And so getting back to, and having a relationship with self through stillness, or also a whole host of other things you can do to build confidence in self and love for self ends up being such an important thing and an act of courage because of the way it deviates from and defies the way that these other voices would hope to have power in your life.

Absolutely. And this whole idea of you aren’t free ice cream is not, everybody’s going to buy in. Not everybody loves you, right? And not, everybody’s gonna gonna want the things that you want, free ice cream, everybody likes, but I’ll be honest. Somebody will complain about the free ice cream. There’s not chocolate or the vanilla, right.

Even free ice cream. I’m in a very interesting window. Like you write your book just came out. My book is about to come out as a creator. You create with this hope that you will be the first person to create something that is universally luck. It is not, there is not an example. And there’s not an example on the planet of a single thing that has ever been universally loved.

And yet our ego, our pride, our insecurities, our imposter syndrome, they are all hoping that we’re going to now be the first person ever to create something that everyone loves. And what’s wild is if we, as a, as writers, as a, for example, could affect a hundred people with our work and 10 people, we’re going to hate the thing that we’ve created,

but 90 people would be affected positively by it might have a breakthrough from it changed the way they think about loving people that they love in their life are showing up for their family. We as creators tend to focus on the 10, rather than 30 in benefit that comes to the 90. And a lot of times for I’m sure, for many listeners, if you are someone who is consumed with the idea of that 10,

it can keep you from creating in the first place, which is a loss. It’s a travesty to the 90 people that could have had a breakthrough because of the way that you would have leaned into your calling on this planet. So we just have to get over this reality that, Hey, you will never be a silver bullet that makes every single person happy.

You’re not free ice cream. Even to the lactose intolerant humans that would hate to have ice cream as the offering. There’s just, there’s no solving or serving everyone something that they’re going to love. If someone doesn’t like my book, if someone doesn’t like your book, it wasn’t for them. And that is fine. And that’s just fine. I was on a podcast yesterday with someone who was based in New Zealand and he asked me a similar kind of question.

I said, look, I don’t want to offend you, but I don’t like the Hobbit, which I know is like the Crown Jewel of New Zealand. That’s a hot take, but my not liking the hobbits. Doesn’t take away from the millions of people who love it. The fact that it’s become one of the biggest selling franchises in the history of the movie business,

or that it’s fond to sequel that our Lord of the rings was the first and the Hobbit was the second. But like, I don’t like either of those franchises and that doesn’t in any way, take away from how good they are. They’re just not for me. And that’s okay. I think that’s the thing is we don’t need everybody’s buy-in we really don’t need everybody’s buy-in I,

we you’re right. We struggle. And we want, we want the a hundred percent. We’re going to be the one thing in the history of the world that everybody loves and that ain’t happening. Sorry, guys. Walk away from it. Walk away. I love it. Dave, the book is filled with so many great tips and strategies and advice and journaling prompts.

Can you tell our listeners where’s the best place, first of all, to get a copy of the book and where’s the best place to find you. So you can buy the book literally anywhere that books are sold. So wherever you traditionally buy books, buy it there. But when you do, if you head over to Mr. Dave hollis.com forward slash book,

I have almost $500 worth of goodies to exchange for your 15 to $20 of hard-earned cash. Going towards this book, there’s a course about finding your purpose. There’s a course about resilience and confidence. There are 13 weeks of coaching and a community of more than 6,000 people that would love to welcome you with open arms. So when you buy the book, jump over to Mr.

Dave hollis.com forward slash book, and we’d love to have you join. Amazing. So amazing, Dave, this was great. Thoroughly enjoyed having you on my show. I just did an interview on your show as well. So y’all should make sure to check out day’s podcasts. I’ll have links to all of that in the show notes, but Dave, if you could leave our listeners with one last piece of advice,

what would that be? I’m going to leave you with the spirit of a tattoo that I got about four years ago in the midst of a journey through change. There, I w I’m going to argue that life is going to have changes a constant. You cannot avoid it, but there are changes that you’re going to choose. Then there’s change. That’s going to choose you either way.

Those changes are going to be disrupting and jarring. And in that discomfort provide you growth. And one of the most important things, the line on my arm is from a John Shedd quote. It says a ship in Harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for. And I got it as a reminder to myself, as I continue to push myself out of my safe Harbor,

into the choppy waters, where I will grow and become this person that I was intended to be where I might honor the intention of my creator, that I was built for that shop, that I was built to handle the ways that I will ultimately grow and become. And that you, as a listener today, I want you to know you were built for this too,

like you were created with intention, and that intention is not for you to just get by with getting by, to be okay with being okay, to stay connected to what you know, or suffering that you become familiar with. There is something that exists for you outside of your safe Harbor, away from your comfort zone, and you are all ready, ready to handle what happens in that uncomfortable space.

You’ve got to believe it once you do, you can go. Ah, I love that. That that’s great words to leave our listeners with it. You were built with intention. Thank you so much day. This was amazing. I had a great time chatting with you today. The book is amazing. All right. Thank you so much. Thank you,

Tanya. Appreciate you. Thank you, listener. I would love to hear how you felt about today’s episode. The things that Dave talked about, I felt were really aligned with a lot of what we talk about in my book in on purpose, but really this idea where he talked about tapping into our intuition, I thought that was really powerful. The way that he talked about the stillness.

And I know you might be thinking to yourself, well, Hey, nice brand to take a couple of days off in the desert. You don’t have to take days off to find that stillness, sometimes stillness can be found in our everyday lives, just by intentionally choosing to pause. There is power in the pause and it is allowing that intuition to come forth.

It’s allowing yourself to really strengthen the foundation of who you are. As he said, it’s not just about finding that clarity. It’s also preparing yourself for the chaos that can sometimes happen. The, the shifting that happens in our world when we choose to live our life on our own terms, because here’s the truth. This is one of the things that Dave talked about in today’s episode,

you were built with intention. We closed out the interview with him sharing those words of wisdom. And I absolutely believe that it’s true. I believe there is an extraordinary life meant for you. It is up to you to go and choose it. Sometimes it might mean making a reset like Dave did in his own life, over the past, you know,

18 months of his, of his world falling apart, shifting and rebuilding it. But when we choose to see that extraordinary is a choice. That’s when we have the Intentional advantage. Thanks so much for joining me today. Quick question though, before you go, do you like prizes? When you leave a rating and review of the Intentional advantage podcast, you’ll be entered to win my life changing course,

multiplying your time. Simply leave the review and then send me an email@helloatTanyadalton.com with a screenshot. I choose one winner at the end of every month. So go ahead. Do it right now. Just a quick comment with what you loved about this episode or the show in general and a rating and send it our way. Not going to lie by stars is my favorite,

but I’d love to hear what you think of the show. And if that’s not enough of an incentive for you to win the multiplying your time course, I have to tell you the reviews are the number one thing that supports this podcast. And me, it’s the best way to spread the word and get business tips and strategies to all those other women out there who need it.

So there you go. Two great reasons for you to go and leave a review right now. So go ahead and do it, send that screenshot my way, because I want to give you a free course. And thanks again for listening today. I’ll be back next Tuesday and I’ll plan to see you then.

 

 

This transcript for one of the top productivity podcasts with a female host is made with AI.

Tanya Dalton is a woman on a mission to redefine productivity. She has been named a best female motivating keynote speaker. As a woman she has a unique perspective on time management, finding balance and goal settings.

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