The Big Idea
No more girl boss, boss babe or lady boss.
Questions I Answer
- How can I stop playing small in business?
- Is it really important to have a network of women around me?
- How can networking make a difference in my career?
- How can I support the women in my office or industry?
Actions to Take
- Carve out 10-20 minutes this week to look at your website, social media feed, resume/CV, and consider, How are you marketing yourself? Are you playing it safe, or are you owning your accolades and expertise as much as you should be? How you describe yourself matters, so make sure you’re using your words wisely!
Key Moments in the Show
The connection between mindset and action
How to be a boss
Showing up for your business
How to take action in your business
We’ve got a brand new introduction and a brand new season heading your
way. Welcome to episode 222. This is our first episode in this new season
where we’re going to be talking about taking action in your business.
I want to see you thrive thriving in your business, in your personal life and
anywhere and everywhere in between. And I don’t know about you, but I am
so ready to kick things off today. We have spent some time exploring our
mindsets, how to make some big shifts in our thinking to get us to that
incredible growth. And now let’s take that next piece of the puzzle to success,
which is all about taking some serious action. Now I say serious, but it doesn’t
mean it has to be big. That doesn’t mean it has to be difficult. It just means
we are moving forward. It’s time for us to jump in, to take some action towards your dreams, towards your full lucrative life that you’re looking to
You know, in fact, I think it’s past time because if the confusion that chaos, the excitement of
2020 has taught us anything. It’s this: the time is always right to make moves
that are going to set you up for long-term success. COVID was a wake-up call
or rather a shake-up call that we don’t have to keep doing things the same
way we always have. New business models have been popping up things that
some people thought were impossible have suddenly become possible with
that abundance mindset.
We can see there are opportunities that are right at our fingertips that are
just begging for us to reach out and grab them. Women are stepping up in
high numbers, into business, into entrepreneurship, into the life they really
want for themselves and for their families, we can make the shifts. We can
make the changes we want in our lives. You just have to choose it.
So I want to know, are you ready to say yes to the abundance of happiness
and joy and contentment that life actually does have to offer you? Are you
ready to say yes to the big, beautiful dreams you’ve been thinking about? Are
you ready to say yes and step into yourself as the leader of your life and the
boss that you are? You know,
here’s the thing that I miss most about the world right now. I miss speaking in
crowds being in a room full of women, business owners, because if I was
standing right now on a stage in front of you, I would expect you to have your
hand up. My hand would be up. Every woman’s hand would be raised right
now. You know why?
Because we are ready. This is our time. I know you are ready. We are all ready
to say yes and embrace the power that we have to finally step up in our
businesses in our lives in ourselves. Let’s step up. Let’s take our place as the
boss. Are you ready to dive in? I know I am. And here’s where I want to start.
I want to start by talking about that word boss. I don’t want you to shy away
from it. I don’t want it to make you cringe or feel uncomfortable, but I want
you to be the boss. Don’t feel like you’ve got to shrink yourself down and fit
somebody. Else’s ideas. We women, we, we tend to do that. And I hate saying
but I hate that. It’s true. Even more than having to say it, we play nice. We play
by the rules. We, Oh gosh, we don’t ruffle feathers. We’re good girls, which
means we play small and we don’t have to play small anymore. We really
don’t. You know, I’ve been hearing this term for a while now,
bossing up. Have you heard of that term bossing up? I first became aware of it
because of a Nicki Minaj video, where she talks about the challenges of
having to be so many things to so many people all at the same time, being
talented, being nice, being sexy, being herself. And here’s what Nikki said
about it. She said when I’m assertive,
I’m a bitch. When a man is assertive, he’s a boss. He bosses up no negative
connotation behind bossed up, but lots of negative connotation behind being
a bitch. What do you think about that? Does that ring true? I mean, it does for
me, I know for sure that, that when you are leading with competence, when
you are assertive,
you can be perceived as not being a good girl in that can be difficult for those
of us who were raised to be good girls. And if we’re really being honest, we
were all raised to be good girls. We were told to go for it. We were told that we
could do whatever we wanted to do maybe, but we still had to be a good girl.
So I’m curious, what does that phrase thing up bring up for you? What does it
come when it comes to your mind when you hear that? And I would love if
you’re in my Facebook group, I would love for you to share your thoughts on
it, share it in the group because I’d like to get this conversation going. And in
we had a great conversation quite a while back in the group about that word
boss. And that conversation was fascinating. It was so interesting. Actually, I
found it so fascinating. I actually talk about it in my book. That’s coming out in
October, but here’s what I found the word boss for girls makes us
uncomfortable say us because it doesn’t make me uncomfortable,
but it makes some of us uncomfortable. And here’s why when little girls are
moving forward with confidence, when we’re young, when we’re on the
playground and we’re doing things with competence, we’re called bossy.
We’re called bossy boys, never called bossy. Boys are called overconfident
perhaps, or, you know, a lot of other things, but they’re not called bossy.
And for a girl to be called bossy is like, ah, tap that down, play by the rules,
play nice. And that has extended itself into this term boss where it can be
uncomfortable because nobody wants to be seen as being bossy. So let’s
reframe that. Let’s change the way we feel about that word boss. Because for
me, when I hear that phrase bossing up,
I start thinking about stepping into your power, holding your boundaries,
choosing the life you want to leave speed and above all. I think of
empowerment of empowering, not just myself, but everyone around me as
well. I think the different things that I can do to empower the women that
work alongside of me on my team, the women that I coach in my mentorship
And of course the brilliant, hardworking action taking women, listening to my
podcast every week, that’s you. Right? And so when we step into this idea of
being the boss, when we step into our power, we’re able to affect great
change, not just in ourselves, but in others as well. Well, and being the boss is
something we all can do.
Regardless. Most of your background, regardless of the business you run or
the industry that you work in, regardless of all those little things you would
think would normally separate us on a daily basis. Yes, this is all about
showing up, showing up for yourself, showing up for your business. It means
embracing your talents, your skills, the powers that you have,
you have to achieve your goals and to her success on your own terms, here’s a
truth. I need you to hold strongly to empowered women, empower other
women. This is something we need to see more and more of. We’re starting to
see some of this in the world right now, but we need more of this. When we
step into our power.
When we take ownership and become the boss, we create a better world. You
see, we are resolute. We are strong. We are incredibly, incredibly smart and
capable and powerful, especially when we link arms and we come together to
put good forth in the world and promote the changes that we want to see. So
the future for our children and our children’s children and everyone who
comes after us is as abundant and right with opportunities for them as we’d
like it to be for us right now,
when we recognize our power, when we use our strength and skills and
talents to their greatest potential, that’s when taking action becomes second
nature. That’s when we’re able to step outside of our comfort zone with more
ease and do it without worrying about what everybody else thinks. You know,
we can sit here and we can complain that we have been put down by the
patriarchy and yes,
it has been unfair. And yes, it is true. There has not been enough seats at the
table. Yes. There have been laws as recently as the 1970s that prevented us
from having our own bank accounts or owning our own business without a
man that is true. We can say all of this has kept us down and has held us back
Or we can say, I choose. I choose to move forward and stop blaming my past
our collective past. I choose to be the boss, regardless of what history or
anybody else tells me when you make that choice, that is when real change
and real success happen. And I know this for a fact that this is true because
the moment I decided to stop playing it safe in my business,
the moment I decided to start showing up for myself and the goals and the
dreams that I set for myself, that’s when I was able to experience huge
success, I could celebrate what I was capable of. That was when I realized, yes,
I can write the book. I always wanted to write. It’s when I realized, yes, I can
curate a mentorship program that will lift and empower women to go beyond
their wildest dreams.
That’s when I realized, yes, I am a powerhouse. I am the boss of me and my
life. And there is absolutely no reason to hold myself back from that truth any
longer, I get to choose what my life looks like. I can choose to run my business
my way, not stuck, but wildly open, free the way that I want to run it.
I can have my Fridays off. I can leave by three o’clock every day I can enjoy my
weekends. I can choose to enjoy the success I get to choose. And so do you,
and that is exactly what I want for each of you listening today. I want you to
see that you can break free from the things that are holding you back or that
you think are holding you back so that you can say,
yes, today’s the day. Today’s the day. You can finally unapologetically embrace
your power, your talent, your vision for your business and your life, and be the
boss in every sense of the word. So I want to do this. I want to shift some
gears. I want to talk about some concrete ways. You can start showing up
yourself and being the boss in your business, no matter what it is you do, or
what industry you’re in. But before we do that, let’s take a quick mid-episode
Today’s episode is brought to you by The Intentional CEO Mentorship
program: my revolutionary coaching program, where I help female
entrepreneurs scale their businesses so they can unplug from their
businesses and truly enjoy their lives.
If you are loving this episode today, and what we’re talking about here, about
being the boss and taking action, I want you to do just that. I want you to take
action, to get to your full potential. And I’ve got a great action step for you to
take head to Tanyadalton.com/coaching to get on my exclusive first access list
for the next opening of The Intentional CEO Mentorship program.
It’s coming up later this year and you’re going to want to be on that list to be
the first to receive information and all the details you need to move forward.
Because here’s the thing about my mentorship program. You’re not going to
find this in other programs in the market. Yes, we talk about strategies and
tactics, but we also dive in deep into the different ways that you can ensure
you’re operating at your truest highest potential.
So you can achieve success on your own terms because that is the difference
between getting from five figures to six, six figures to seven, seven to eight,
you have to know how to focus on yourself and your business holistically. You
gotta have the tools to be able to do it, but you need to have that mindset as
well. And we do both the tactics, the tools, the mindsets. I want to get you to
where you want to go. So I’d love to have you with us. Go to
Tanyadalton.com/coaching. You can pause the podcast right now and head
there. Get on that first access list. I would love to give you all the details.
All right, let’s get back into this concept of being the boss. I want to talk about
you starting to see yourself, more, that boss role, and one of the easiest ways
you can step up in your business right now is to simply start choosing, to
identify yourself the way you want to be seen. Pretty easy, right? Hmm. Is it
though? I mean, how do you identify yourself right now?
Do you choose words that build you up or tear you down? You may not even
realize it. A lot of people don’t really recognize how powerful their words are,
but if, for example, you call yourself a small business owner. Why aren’t we
using the word small here? Hmm. Why don’t you use the word small at all?
Why not just business owner or entrepreneur or certified professional,
or when people ask you what you do, do you use the word just as in, Oh, I just
own an accounting firm or, Oh, I’m just a real estate agent. What is it with
that word? Just it’s like it automatically is like, you know, honey, I shrunk the
kids. It makes everything smaller. Can we stop saying just,
you may not even realize you’re saying it, but start to recognize and really
think about the words coming out of your mouth or the way that you’re
presenting yourself. Start paying attention to the words you choose to use to
define you because other people will define you by your own words. It all
starts with you. So if you want to be the expert,
call yourself an expert. And here’s the truth. If you’re a business owner, you
should be calling yourself an experts. Or if you’re the CEO of your business,
own that title. Especially if you’re someone who hears that word CEO, and
you’re like, Oh God, you want to shrink down or shy away from it. Step into it.
this is one of the biggest things I’m seeing that affects a wide range of
entrepreneurs and women in business right now. So many are clinging to this
antiquated, outdated model. And this idea that if we step up, if we embrace
the titles, we’ve been given the high titles that we have earned mind, you
titles like boss, CEO, founding partner.
There are still so many women out there who think that actively embracing
their accomplishments. There’s accolades, embracing what you have earned
will somehow make other people feel uncomfortable. So we shrink ourselves
down. We don’t shine our light. This is a sad consequence of the social
conditioning of being the good girl of not being the one who outshines other
people. It’s still alive.
It’s still alive and thriving in modern society today. And here’s something you
have to remember being assertive. Doesn’t make you a bitch. It makes you
assertive. And I know that word, bitch, maybe you up a little bit. Maybe it
makes you uncomfortable, but that’s the truth. You’re telling yourself. If you
are afraid to embrace the greatness of yourself,
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it is because you fear how others perceive you. What will everybody else
think? What will they say? Well, I can tell you right now, they’re going to say
you’re an expert. Once they get over it, I want you to own your expertise.
Embrace your status as an expert and get ready. Because the second you
start doing that, the second that you get comfortable with owning your own
everybody else around you, they are going to take notice. And I mean that in
the best way possible, you know, it’s kind of like when you go and you get a
really great outfit, maybe you get this jacket that you love and it’s made for
your body. And it just, you feel you put it on and your chin gets up and your
shoulders go back and you feel competent.
It’s a confidence booster, right? Same thing happens when we choose to be
the boss. When we truly start owning our expert status, your confidence gets
the opportunity to kick into high gear. And then literally anything is possible.
Anything is possible. So I want you to keep that in mind, let’s own our
expertise. And then another thing you can do to be the boss in your business
and in your life.
It’s one of my very favorite things to talk to women, business owners and
entrepreneurs about it’s linking arms with other women, building a
supportive collaborative network. Here’s the deal. Success doesn’t have to be
about the hustle and it sure as hell shouldn’t be viewed as a big competitive
thing. Remember empowered women empower other women. We can all
become successful together. And my God life in every sense of the word
It becomes so much easier to navigate. Success becomes easier to achieve
because we recognize we are more powerful standing together than when
we try and go it alone. Now, if you remember from our conversations last
season, you already know that that when it comes to success, whether we’re
talking about monetary success or otherwise, there are more than enough
pieces of pie to go around.
Success is not finite the same way that money is not finite the oven in the
kitchen of success. It’s always on. It’s always cooking the pies. They just keep
on coming. And all you need to do is line up, reach your hand out and grab a
slice. And then, you know, what hand a slice of that woman next to you?
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We don’t have to go alone in this networking. And connecting is a beautiful,
simple thing that we can do to take action in our business. You know,
networking is a big part of my mentorship program. And I can honestly say
one of the most significant things that happens when women and business
come together is collaboration. Opening yourself up to the opportunities that
likely would not have come.
Otherwise in my experience, creating and building strong lasting
relationships with other women in business, that’s been the biggest key to
my success. It’s all about collaborating, not competing. And that my friends,
that is what being the boss is all about. It’s not about being bossy or telling
everybody else what to do and how to do it. It’s showing up for yourself.
It’s showing up for your own success. It’s linking arms with other women who
are looking to do the same. So there you go, two ways you can do it two ways
of showing up and taking some action in your business and your life right
away that are really simple and easy to do. So let’s build off those ideas. And
let’s put in a couple of quick momentum builders, because I want you to get
started embracing your power, embracing your talent, and your status as the
boss of your life. All right? So these are going to be super easy and quick to
First up, Momentum Builder Number One: So when we talked about
surrounding yourself with women, did you think, Ooh, I don’t know where I’d
find that or, well, I joined a group, but it’s more comparing than
collaborating? I get it. There is a lot of those out there and it can be really
frustrating. Listen, if you like, what I talk about on this podcast and I’m
guessing you do because you’re listening right now, I have an easy way for
you to find your people:
Join my free community because it is an incredibly supportive network full of
entrepreneurs, hardworking action-taking women in business that you want
to surround yourself with. It is so important to find your people. I cannot
stress that enough. I know for me, it was instrumental. So do yourself, do your
business a favor, and head over to Tanyadalton.com/group right now; submit
a request to join all of the fabulous women that are already in the group.
I cannot wait to see you there. We want to see you grow and scale your
business. We want to help you find success on your own terms. So head to
that group right now and request to join. All right? Then Momentum Builder
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Number Two: this is something that I routinely coach women in my
mentorship program on. So I want to extend the same courtesy to you.
I want you to pay attention to your words. How are you choosing to identify
yourself? I want you to take some time. And when I say time, I don’t mean like
a chunk of time. I want this to be really easy for you to do so maybe 10, 20
minutes this week. I want you to take a look at your website, take a look at
your social media feed, wherever it is you are online.
And I want you to look at it with a sharp eye. I want you to strongly consider
how are you marketing yourself right now? How are you choosing to present
yourself to the world? Here’s a little hard truth for you. You cannot be upset
when other people don’t take your business.
Seriously. If you don’t, if you choose to put yourself and your business down by
playing small, don’t be surprised when others treat you small. You’re better
than that. So I want you to ask yourself, are you owning your expertise as
much as you can be? Are you truly highlighting your accolades, your
accomplishments, as much as you could, if not,
I want you to make some tweaks and some changes. Choose how you market
yourself to the rest of the world. I want you to allow yourself to shine as the
boss of your life. The boss, you really are. So take a good look. What are the
words you’re using to describe yourself or your offering? Are they as impactful
as you know they should be?
Do they highlight your brilliance or is the language kind of working against
you? Be honest with yourself and it’s okay. If you now see with your fresh eyes,
if you now see that you’ve been undermining or undervaluing yourself or your
business, all that matters is you keep moving forward. All that matters is what
you do. Next, the choices you make, embrace your brilliance, give yourself
permission to recognize it, and own it.
Because truly when we embrace ourselves as the boss in our business, as the
boss in our lives, that’s when those mysterious doors to success magically
throw themselves open wide for success to happen. You first got to want it.
And then you got to act on it. When you recognize your own worth your own
power, and you celebrate yourself as the powerhouse of your business and
your life, that’s when taking action becomes second nature. That’s when the
magic happens. That’s when success happens and that, my friends, is when
you know you’ve got the intentional advantage.
**This transcript was created with AI, so please excuse typos, misspelling and grammatical errors.
Tanya Dalton is a female keynote speaker, corporate workshop facilitator and productivity expert. She is available to speak to audiences around the world.